Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Reflective Piece

Reflective Piece



This semester was a refreshing break from the monotony that English often is, as it delved into subjects I really enjoyed. While it may not show… I am, and have always been, a huge fan of science fiction. A mere line describing futuristic technologies in The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas (“all kinds of marvelous devices not yet invented here, floating light-sources, fuelless power, a cure for the common cold”) – despite it not really being the point of the story – made me giddy with excitement to read the rest, as it transformed the image of Omelas from a quaint renaissance-era town to a majestic futuristic megalopolis. You can only imagine how much I loved Black Box. On the flipside, the total lack of these elements in the novel we read, The Handmaid’s Tale, made the story more difficult to read (despite the fact that I completely understand that these details were not really necessary to the story. I guess it’s just a matter of the writer’s style.)

               The writings that we did every week really did impact my understanding of them. They forced me to think critically about a story that I, most likely, just took for face value as I read it; in retrospect, I’ve never really looked at science fiction this critically before. Looking back now, nearly every short story that we read this semester contained an analogy to something that already does or did occur in the real world, something that the story was designed to attract attention to.

               As such, science fiction – at least, the “soft” variation – seems to be used a lot by writers as a tool to represent an issue in our world without directly pointing to it, but making it similar enough to allow an individual to point out undeniable parallels between our world and the one that the author is building, perhaps with an exaggeration or twist that causes us to be disgusted by it.

               The fact that an individual can read a sci-fi piece that draws them to reflect on themselves and the world around them without a direct reference makes science fiction a very powerful tool when it comes to discussing social justice. How else would you do that? I mean, it’s possible that fantasy can delve into this, but it tends to be so alien that it’s practically unrelatable. Part of the punch in science fiction is the uncanny similarity between us and the people in the story. You can see this in The Semplica-Girl Diaries very clearly.

               The Semplica-Girl Diaries is very cleverly done. It’s undeniably relatable. Everyone understands the father and his situation as a lower-middle class individual who only wants to make his kids’ situation as nice as possible. The author tells us a story about this guy who just wants the best for his kids, and casually slides in the fact that the society in this story totally endorses the idea of hanging human beings by a line through their brain as decoration for years at a time.

               With a little bit of thought (that I likely would not have applied without the fact that I had to write a short essay about it), you recognize a parallel between the Semplica Girls and reality. It’s meant to represent all of the people that we don’t see – illegal immigrants, factory workers - that work to make our amazing lives as they are. Sure, it’s exaggerated, but this combination of uncanny similarity between us and the people in the story, as well as the relatability of the people causes us to reflect without being referenced, thus not being biased on our conclusions.


Mini-Essays

Week 1

The Lottery - Crux

My first thought upon beginning to read “The Lottery”, a short story by Shirley Jackson, was that my prior reading of it made this one fundamentally different. It has a very different impact - since you know that the lottery is a terrible thing beforehand, you begin to notice all of the hints very early on that suggest that the something is very, very off.

Because of my earlier read, I found much of the beginning - where the nature of the lottery has not been revealed yet - the most disturbing part of the story. The entire population treats it so casually that it appears that they have no stress about being chosen to die. For example, take Mrs. Hutchinson completely forgetting what day it was - “Clean forgot what day it was.” Or Summers with “Well, now. Guess we better get started, get this over with, so's we can go back to work. Anybody ain't here?” And onwards, the people of the village don’t seem as though they talk with any worry or nervous on their mind. This is all despite the fact that they could, if they tried, end it - the implication in the story being that the ordeal isn’t mandated by some overarching dystopian government, since other places have abolished the practice.

In my eyes, this story tells us so many different things. But in my case, I felt like the most important takeaway is that human cultures don’t necessarily all share the same basic morals and values. Most of the time, people understand, but don’t comprehend this entirely. For the most part, the immediate and drastic differences we see are the ends of the political spectrum, but it can go far beyond that. When it comes to the people of this town, their set of morals is fundamentally different from all of ours, which makes this story so horrifying.
Alternatively, there is another important thing to consider. It’s Mr. Summers that keeps the tradition alive and healthy, as shown by the fact that he is the one directing it, attempting to improve it, and his disdain for those who have abandoned it. It’s possible that the majority of the town secretly does not enjoy the annual lottery, but merely goes along with it, worrying about their current social status within the town. We should take away the idea that the morals and standards of those around us should be questioned; and we should act upon what we see rather than staying silent.

Week 2

 Bloodchild - Crux

I found the relationship between the Terrans (humanity) and the Tlic (aliens) in "Bloodchild" fascinating. When I first began reading it, I thought it was some sort of harmony, perhaps symbiotic. Why else would the humans live alongside the Tlic? The further I read, however, the more I felt as though it was leaning towards parasitic; beneficial in only one direction towards the Tlic. There are several quotes from "Bloodchild" that suggest that the Tlic don't really care about the humans for any reason other than to host their children. It's not that difficult to discover only put on a facade for their sentient incubation tool.

"They do sometimes. Actually, they prefer women. You should be around them when they talk among themselves. They say women have more body fat to protect the grubs. But they usually take men to leave the women free to bear their own young.” “To provide the next generation of host animals.” (13) This harsh realization is the blatant truth, as I see it, and there is no hidden meaning behind it. This is the crux. The humans in this story are in fact being used as hosts, and the aliens don't try to soften this fact when speaking with each other.

Gan reveals to the audience that "She knew how to manipulate people", when referring to Gatoi. How or why would she know a skill like that? The most likely reason is that the Tlic have to understand how to do this to survive as a species. They have to understand how humans work to push all of the right buttons. In fact, in the conversation that follows, Gatoi says “We wait long years for you and teach you and join our families to yours. You know you aren’t animals to us.” (16) She was saying only what Gan wanted to hear, exactly as she did every other time she tried to console Gan about his situation as a host for Tlic.

On top of that, it is implied that humans on this world are treated, in some manner, as second-class citizens. "Since Terrans were forbidden motorized vehicles except for certain farm equipment..." (10) suggests that they have less rights than a Tlic, because they are sub-Tlic.

So, the humans are used as hosts by the parasitic Tlic. What is the point of this story, though? The situation seems far too alien to be applicable to our lives. If we think about it, though, the core resonates with the one in "The Lottery" - there is a common practice that appears horrible to the audience, but seems relatively normal to these people. No one really speaks out against it since it's simply what the society as whole accepts and endorses, even though there is little logical reason for them (the Terrans in "Bloodchild" or the villagers in "The Lottery") to. The younger people who might turn against it are made used to it from their childhood. It's not nearly as blatant, but the takeaways are similar - question moral and standards that may seem commonplace, and act upon what you think and believe.

Week 3

"You will reflect on the fact that these “instructions” are becoming less and less instructive.

Your Field Instructions, stored in a chip beneath your hairline, will serve as both a mission log and a guide for others undertaking this work." (15)

The moment I read these lines - without exaggeration, the very moment - the story clicked.
The agent from whose perspective we read from is dead.

The style of the story is so strange because it's clearly meant to simulate a transcript from a step-by-step recording device - a "black box" - which recorded the actions and thoughts of an agent up until their death.
"Remember that, should you die, your body will yield a crucial trove of information.

Remember that, should you die, your Field Instructions will provide a record of your mission and lessons for those who follow." (43)

The term "black box" comes directly from airplane terminology to describe a flight recorder. It's a piece of equipment that logs general avionics data, along with the communications made by the crew. Does this sound familiar? It should, because it's one in one with how the story is formatted - the voice of the agent along with the actions made by the individual are recorded directly onto this chip. Coincidentally, the sole use for an airplane black box is to assist in the investigation of a crash - understanding what caused the flight to go catastrophic. It's not used for anything else. The author's title for the story is deliberate, as shown by this quote. It's given quite late in the story, so it only solidifed my knowledge of her death, along with the fact that she just got shot.

(I'm going to ignore the engineering use of the term "black box" since it's far less relevant in my opinion - although it can be vaguely applied. It's defined as a "thing" which accepts an input, does something to it, and generate an output - in which the inner workings of the "thing" are irrelevant.)

Furthermore, the agent never expected to be compensated for her actions. She even refers to her actions as a form of sacrifice.

"Remind yourself that you are receiving no payment, in currency or kind, for this or any act you have engaged in.

These acts are forms of sacrifice." (32)

There are many moments of foreshadowing in this story. I don't think it gets any clearer than this, however. Sacrifice can be attributed to many things, but it's most often associated with death for a greater good, which the agent also mentions.

Finally, why did the story end where it did? Well, where do "black box" transcripts end? At the moment that the device no longer recieves avionics or communication data. In this case, this is caused by death. There is no other logical reason for the story to be presented from the point of view of a black box, since the agent would be telling it herself. The fact that the black box was recovered in the first place - which isn't done with aircraft unless an accident occurs - implies that she died.

 Week 4

The Semplica-Girl Diaries - Crux

"Has, in past, refused to eat meat, sit on leather seats, use plastic forks made in China." -- September 23rd
This line is what changed my perception of the story. It might be a strange choice as it doesn't involve the SGs in any way, but it caused me to make a connection that I hadn't seen prior. This quote that the author used is an allusion to our own world. I'm sure everyone who read the line understood this - the "made in China" phenomenon is a large part of our society.

However, this connection made me realize that the story is a political commentary. The SGs, like the forks made in China, are also an allusion to our world. It's just exaggerated. Quite simply, they represent the people who we rarely if ever see, those who work in absolutely sub-par conditions improving our lives, the people whose existence we try not to dwell on. The SGs are the factory workers in 3rd world countries who produce things we use every moment of every day. They represent the illegal immigrants who allow us to enjoy purchasing food at relatively cheap prices at the cost of their own condition. When we do consider their existence, we try to justify the fact that we aren't working to mitigate the discrepancy in the standards of life with various reasons.

Kind of like how dad does when he tried to justify this absolutely abhorrent practice. "Point is, I said, everything relative. SGs have lived very different lives from us. Their lives brutal, harsh, unpromising. What looks scary/unpleasant to us may not be so scary/unpleasant to them, i.e., they have seen worse." -- September 23rd

As he does on several other occasions too.

When I began reading the short story, I fully expected it to be another The Lottery-styled piece, with the immoral element being embedded in daily life. I wanted to write about how similar the story is to The Lottery. While that is the case, I believe this story is actually quite different in purpose from the other stories we read with that element.

In The Lottery and even Bloodchild, the immoral element isn't designed to point at anything in particular. In both, it's a singular, tremendous event that happens rarely that everyone expects and prepares for (mentally or otherwise). It's extremely blatant, but it doesn't really point out anything in our culture that we should look at. It's a general warning of sorts, as I see it.

The Semplica-Girl Diaries portrays the immoral elements in a completely different light. Here, the dad is never really emotionally involved with the SGs plight directly. In fact, he's completely desensitized and accustomed to it, and makes references to the SGs only when focused on something that isn't their condition (buying a garden, the fact that they have gone, etc). While this is presented in a very obvious manner, it's not as obvious that it's a direct, albeit blown up reference to the way we think about the people I referred to - illegal immigrant workers, 3rd world factory workers, and many others that I haven't mentioned directly.
 Week 6

The Handmaid’s Tale - Crux

“We had flannelette sheets, like children's, and army-issue blankets, old ones that still said U.S.” (Ch. 1)
The moment I read this line, my perspective on the story was set. While it is written at the beginning of the story, it sets the rest of it up – the quote implies that the United States is somehow a thing of the past. This story wasn’t just set in a random place and time; it was our place and time. Perhaps it took place in the future or during and alternative timeline, but that matters little. It became more relatable and I began drawing parallels to the real world.

However, it was the Japanese tourists that really changed my perspective on the story. Up to that point, I saw the story as something akin to 1984, in which the entire world is dystopian and everyone has to deal with the issues we see through the eyes of Offred. Upon reading about the tourists, I began to see the world as something entirely different, in which a single nation is horrifying among many that are not.

“They're diminutive and neatly turned out; each has his or her camera, his or her smile. They look around, bright-eyed, cocking their heads to one side like robins, their very cheerfulness aggressive, and I can't help staring. It's been a long time since I've seen skirts that short on women.”

By Chapter 5, Offred notices the Japanese tourists. To her, their behaviors are somewhat alien due to how she lives says – but to us, they’re very reminiscent of ourselves. In fact, the mannerisms Offred describes makes it appear that Gilead’s dystopian society is strange to them, and they hail from a society much like our own.

At this point, the story began to feel a lot more like an analogue to the real world as I began to recognize how similar the Republic of Gilead was to a few aspects of nations that exist, and have existed. We might not actively think about it, but we live in the same world that North Korea (Democratic People’s Republic of Korea) exists in - a nation that has often been described as a nation-sized concentration camp for good reason – the way they treat their citizens is horrific.

The Japanese tourist group instantly made me think of reports from the few that have been allowed to tour North Korea. I’ve watched documentaries and videos in which reporters described their experiences there, about what they saw and heard, even what locals answered to interview questions. The Handmaid’s Tale literally describes the perspective of a person on the other side of the camera.

While it may seem ridiculous that the “outside world” in The Handmaid’s Tale doesn’t do anything to help the people in the Republic of Gilead despite full knowledge of their situation, we should recognize that people in our world have done the same. We don’t try to do anything about the situation of the North Koreans and many other nations that have suffered terrible regimes. Perhaps that’s the author’s purpose for writing – we should recognize that it’s something that’s going on, and not something that only exists in fiction.

Week 8

The Handmaid’s Tale - Crux

In many books, the ending is placed at a point in time in the story where readers get so involved that they don't want it to end, even if sufficient closure is given. Thankfully, The Handmaid's Tale includes an epilogue that not only wraps the story up nicely (let's face it - we all wanted to see Gilead fall by the end), it also acts as a channel for the author to meta talk about their own story while keeping us immersed from the perspective of a person in the world.

The last thing that we read in a book is often the thing that we most readily remember. The epilogue is designed to leave us thinking about specific themes that the author brings up here, even if they don't do so directly. One of the primary themes, and therefore takeaways, that the author provides here is how a group of people can change completely - turning on their ideals due to a disastrous change. We see this a lot in media - apocalypses turning people into monsters and murderers, for example. In this book, however, the change was the massively declining birth rate. The author shows that this is the focus by outlining exactly what happened to cause these issues, and how it affected society in a way that caused Gilead to form (with all of it's interesting ideals).

By keeping the reader immersed in the story, the reader can come to the conclusion - that this could happen to anyone - on their own rather than having it blatantly given to them, making it more memorable in the long run. The "professor" even tells us to be careful about judging the Gileadeans, which implies that we might be capable of doing exactly the same thing were we in the predicament they were faced with, without the perfect hindsight with us.

The lecture that the professor gives seems, throughout, quite impersonal, distanced, and analytical. After reading the book, we feel connected to the character and her struggles, and the professor refers to the documents and the author of them as mere sources of information. Personally, this put the story into perspective, for the lack of a better term - this is exactly how we approach history ourselves, analyzing first and second hand accounts with impunity without really connecting them to ourselves directly. We can see this when we look back at, for example, the German people between the World Wars. In this manner, the author might also be attempting to show us this and remind us to at least soften our impeccable judgement standard of the people in the past.
 

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Conversations

Week 1

I believe that Tessie Hutchinson just didn't understand how real the threat of death was. It appears to me that the population of the village, including Tessie, doesn't quite understand what is at stake until they near the time when the lottery "choosing" happens, and when that time comes near, they are extremely eager to find someone to kill that isn't them. In fact, that is exactly what happens nearing the end of the story, it's what causes everyone to turn on the victim so fast. Tessie is just putting some sort of facade of not caring until the time for her to die comes dangerously close, when she begins to feel how real this killing is.

Week 2

I believe that "Bloodchild" was just as thought provoking as "The Lottery", in somewhat different ways. In Lottery, the killings seemed completely senseless to us, as there was no real, tangible results arising from it. It freaked us out how no one stepped up to try to end the process that was going on because it was so ridiculous. In Bloodchild, however, the "killing" (it's not really a killing, it's pain, terror and, well, giving birth to aliens from your gut with the chance of death - the element can be compared to Lottery's killing) cannot simply be dismissed as immoral and senseless. The Tlic aliens are more helpless than the Lottery villagers to end this cycle of "killing", since they rely on human incubation to produce young; it also seems that they are fully aware of the pain they are causing. However, I say "more helpless" because they aren't completely helpless. It is suggested that they can and did at some point prior to humanity's arrival use some sort of animal to host their children, albeit with more difficulty.

Bloodchild in general was far more lively than Lottery. Even though we are reading about an alien world, the emotions involved make it feel more relatable than the Lottery.

Week 3

When I began reading the story, it felt.. strange. That's probably the best way to put it. With every line, the anticipation of first-person dialogue became more and more intense, until the section labeled "4" came about, and I realized that the moment would never come. Nevertheless, the style of writing grew on me. In fact, I'd say it's even more immersive than standard first-person narration, for a reason I can't really put my finger on. Perhaps, it's because the agent always refers to "you" rather than herself. Furthermore, when I read about the dissociation tactic that she uses to leave her body, it reminded me of my dad explaining how to do something of the sort during dental procedures, so I could - in some way - relate.

At the point where the the thought recorder was brought up, I immediately expected the agent to die by the end and for the story to be the recovered guide. This expectation grew even more once I read about the data transfer device, and was solidified once she was shot and explained that the data in her brain could be recovered even after she died. While this doesn't seem like the case when the helicopter brought her up, it's quite possible that she ended up dying the very moment the story ended. Why else would it end right there? Convenience of storytelling? Maybe. The ending is ambigious enough to allow the reader to decide for themselves whether or not the agent died or not, however.

Week 4

Saunders' use of the voice is essential to the telling of the story.

The story is a direct allusion to the illegal immigrants and 3rd world factory staff who work in deplorable conditions, who we try not to think about. The way the SGs are referred to in the story is, in a way, the way we refer to those people. Whenever "dad" refers to them, he only does so in a manner that focuses on something else more important to him, such as the garden he wants to buy, someone's financial state, and the fact that they ran away which puts his family in a very bad condition. When he does refer to the SGs, he tries to justify it with what looks to us as terrible excuses.

The sort-of-first person perspective is what allows us, the readers, to see what is going on in dad's head. It's easy to relate to the character. When you think about it, we think the same way. We mainly care about the things that affect us most directly, and weakly try to care about things outside of that scope. With dad, who has so many problems at hand, his plight is almost understandable, despite the immoral thing that is going on everywhere in this world.

Week 6

The worldbuilding Atwood presents to us is somewhat subtle, but when I noticed it, my point of view was greatly impacted. The story begins by describing the life of someone that seems to live in some sort of weird prison, but after some time, it begins to become more and more understandable that Offred - the person who's telling the story - lives in a harsh, dystopian world.
As far as I see it, Offred lives in a nation called the Republic of Gilead, which monitors it's citizen's behavior extremely closely. This government allows the women to do nothing - disciplining them to be the perfect baby-carrying material for the men. The world Atwood constructs feels like some sort of post-apocalyptic future, in which some event caused our world to change entirely (the girls still use blankets labeled US, which is a nod towards the notion that it isn't that distant.)
In fact, Offred lived in a society that wasn't so terrifying not that long ago, from the looks of it. Women had their own names rather than ones derived from those of men, and people had far more freedom to do whatever they want. However, with the advent of the new, strict order of Gilead, the women could at least enjoy a life without harassment.
Week 7

The two types of flashbacks that I saw were those that occured before Gilead's formation and those that occured during the transition period between the United States and Gilead.

These flashbacks give us not only insight into the person Offred was, but also the person Offred is now. Her history shaped who she is now, and tells us why she thinks what she thinks throughout the story. Personally, I believe they allow us to relate more to the character. Offred was not always a subject to this incredibly authoritarian regime, as at some point, she was a person we can imagine in our society and even someone we can see in ourselves. She was tranformed over time, and by seeing her past - both the one from before and the one during the transition - we no longer see her as simply a product of the society she lives in, but as someone like ourselves going through an arduous process and turning into the subject with some radical thoughts she is now.

Week 8

The pseudo-commentary at the end of the book, found in the epilogue, provided a sort of meta-discussion about the story, drawing back to themes the author wanted us to leave with. It looked at the text much in the way a historical document we'd find today would be - examined heartlessly. As such, it gave us some insights into the overarching civilization that was the Republic of Gilead, and showed what Offred was as a mere individual in this society.

I believe that this ending was specifically designed to invoke certain ideas and feelings for us to leave the book with. The last thing we read is usually very memorable, so sending the reader off with this type of epilogue would make sure they remember them when they think about the book. One of these was the fact that this could very well happen to us. It's no coincidence that the author chose a place so close to home - America (actually the place we live in) as the setting for the story. On top of this, the author channels - through the professor - to not simply disconnect yourself from and judge these people you read about, but rather understand what circumstances brought them to do what they did. After all, it's easy to put yourself on a pedestal above these people.

Peer Responses

Week 1

Julie Soderstrom:
Mob Mentality - OUTSIDE RESEARCH

 The topic you chose to research is excellent. While I've known what mob mentality was for the longest time, I've never understood the specifics. The way you presented the subject was well done - giving a succinct overview of each aspect and theory. However, my one gripe is that I wish you'd go more in-depth into the third theory that combines the two previous - is there anything else to it?

 It's also interesting that mob mentality affects us in every way, even ways that aren't completely negative - which is what we usually associate it with. I've never thought of it that way, and that's probably because we only recognize it when the mob mentality phenomenon is involved in something like looting or something of the sort that makes a lot of noise and is blatantly obvious.

Amir Wathstein:
Amir Wathstein Crux

 I can definitely see the theme you refer to in the story. It's also very, very prevalent in our own world. We can see "tradition" weighing on people's thoughts and beliefs everywhere - in fact, it's so fundamental to us that it's basically ingrained into most if not all democratic nation's political system. Young individuals often embrace the progressive ideas of the time, which involve changing the way things are as they begin to enter and understand the real world, and this is opposed to older folk who tend to subscribe to more conservatives ideas, or those that have been in action throughout their lifetime.

 While it's true that the old man might have been desensitized, I believe that it also comes down to change. The tradition didn't make life so terrible as to prompt any revolution or anything, and any feelings associated with the tradition likely died down immediately after the lottery was over. Therefore, people didn't really feel the need to change what was going on. The older Summers got, the less he wanted things to change, and that's what happened in the story.

 Week 2

Andrew Mainhart:
Crux Essay
 The way you wrote your essay - clear and to the point - is commendable and made it easy to read. To improve the essay, however, I'd recommend introducing a conclusion that sums up the points that you made and explains how each quote contributes to your main idea. At the moment, it feels as though much of the essay is "unused" in a way - since it's currently the reader's job to connect the quotes to the main idea, it probably doesn't do as well of a job as it could and may leave a reader confused (who potentially might not have read the story). This isn't as big of an issue as it appears, though. The quotes you chose to use to convey your idea were perfect for the job.

Julie Soderstrom:
Crux
 
 Your essay is very effective at conveying your idea about how the crux affects the story. It's concluded, which leaves the reader with the idea you wanted to express in the first place. It's very easy to follow since you structured it in a way that places the main idea in the second sentence, right after the crux quote you chose. The one thing I'd recommend is to introduce a paragraph break in the introduction. You included 2 quotes alongside the crux which makes it slightly more difficult to read, and breaking it apart would allow you to focus on each one and make the essay more understandable in general.

 When it comes to the actual point of your story, it's pretty convincing. While I previously was set on the idea that the Tlic were simply using the Humans with little regard for them as sentient beings, I now am beginning to wane in that stance, as the quotes you provide overwhelmingly suggest a different kind of relationship than I previously imagined. At the same time, however, it could also be clever manipulation...

Week 3

Brandon Aronoff
CRUX
 
I find that it’s extremely interesting that while we chose effectively the same quote as our crux, the ideas we chose to write about were completely unrelated. I think that should tell us a lot about Jennifer Egan’s writing prowess. This one, tiny bit of exposition flipped the perception of the story for two people in completely different ways.
 
At first glance, your essay has no paragraph breaks, which – in my opinion – is a major problem. After reading, however, I realized that this is a formatting issue that could be remedied very easily in your case. Basically, I recommend to simply create a paragraph break prior to presenting a new thesis statement. This will make it a lot easier to read and follow.
 
Otherwise, the essay made points well. Although, I can’t say that I fully agree with the idea that one of the takeaways of the story is that women can be a major threat to “us” despite seeming harmless. I’d rather say that, in general, a human being is very capable of carrying a hidden motive – although we have to remember that this individual is practically half-machine and not a regular person, which could make things a little different.
 
Ashish Patel
Crux
 
While I feel as though the first two paragraphs were strong and conveyed the point you were trying to make very well, I felt as though the formatting of the essay and the third and final paragraph – the conclusion – need some work.

As far as I understand, your main idea – the one you conveyed through the introduction – was that Black Box contains ideas that supersede the spy-novel elements that we read about. I agree with that, and the quotes you put forth are well chosen to support your argument.

However, your concluding paragraph in its current state is, to put it blatantly, irrelevant and doesn’t really “conclude”. It doesn’t support the main idea you were trying to bring to our attention from the beginning, nor does it sum up the points you made prior. I think that with a bit of revision, this issue could be remedied by merging some the concepts you bring up at the end with the points supporting the main idea, creating a takeaway that neatly wraps up your essay.

Otherwise, your essay was convincing and understandable. The points themselves, in my opinion, were presented quite well.
 
Week 4
 
Wills Martin
Wills Martin Crux
 
I know that this isn't the focus of your essay, but the family didn't come off as low-class to me - they felt more lower-middle in my opinion.

I couldn't relate to your crux, unfortunately, because I have to admit that the "cover image" that was provided with the link gave away a huge portion of the upcoming twist. I was also expecting the twist because SGs were constantly mentioned, and we read 2 "immoral twist" stories in class already.

However, your essay is based off of your own experience, and that's absolutely how it's supposed to be. As a crux, it's well constructed for the purpose - revealing to us your thought process during the reading. Your supporting points are clear and straightforward, and most importantly, you have an excellent conclusion which sums up why you felt the way you did about the crux.

As for the actual point you make, the quote you chose makes sense. It does give enough exposition to let the reader understand what is going on as well as why.
 
Christopher Kelly
Crux
 
While the crux quote was well chosen, and the primary point you made is strong, I didn't feel as though your essay body supported your conclusion. It felt a lot more like a summary - the second paragraph being exposition, the third being the events of the story, and the conclusion being mainly the actions of the child. I felt as though only the final sentences in the conclusion contributed to the thesis.

If those were your supporting points (It's totally fine if they were!), you should try to write a sentence or two explaining how they tie into your main idea/thesis; and make sure to start with a thesis soon after the quote. That way, you don't leave all the guessing and thinking to the reader. Then, integrate all of these into a conclusion that leaves the reader with the thesis and the way the points mesh into it fresh in their mind.

Otherwise, the writing was smooth and the essay in general flowed well, although it was a bit jarring at the very end due to the thesis idea being stated for the very first time mid-conclusion.
 
Week 6
 
Steven Hafif
Steven Hafif - Outside Research
 
I agree with the other comments. This appears to be a crux essay, in which you took quotes and elements from the text and related them to the real world through parallels.

Otherwise, I feel as though the connections you made are valid. It appears that Atwood took multiple terrible, almost dystopian settings and merged them to make her own. In my own crux essay, I described how the part of the story where a group of Japanese tourists were taking photos felt much like the perspective of a local in nations where freedom is limited and tourists are allowed in very occasionally.

While you could have gone more in depth about how these parallels affected your perception of the story, it was a good essay. The points were understandable and a proper conclusion wrapped up the essay very well. It left me wondering about what other real world sources Atwood drew inspiration from.
 
Victoria Wilson
Crux
 
Your crux was insightful. I never really thought about how suicide could be seen as a form of freedom or control, but it really is. In some cases, it's the only thing a person has power over, and when that is clearly taken away in the story, it symbolizes how the women who live in this nation have literally no control over anything.

Otherwise, I wish you went a little deeper into potential connections to the real world. This crux shows us that the story might contain a theme - a political commentary about how freedom and surveillance/protection should balance each other out.

Your conclusion was excellently written. It left me with a question to ponder, which led me to make real-world connections as shown above. The points were clear and the essay flowed well, in my opinion.
 
Week 7
 
Brian Stump
Monologue
 
The monologue was great. The feelings lying behind that first person point of view drives us to understand who's talking without pushing it.

While reading this, I felt as though it really made a great addition to the story itself. While it's not something that Offred would say or write herself (obviously), it brings us more insight into the relationships and general social dynamics of the world. Telling a part of the story from the point of view of an individual who isn't Offred gives us a broader view on how people interact with each other in the baby-factory houses of Gilead.
Of course, you did a great job; but yet I feel as though there were certain areas that could be expanded in to.

Personally, I'd be interested to hear this person talk more about themselves, since we already know so much about Offred's life. It would really help flesh the narrator out a little more as a person, rather than a static, well, narrator of a story.